Temporary Insanity
by Saotoshi
Summary: You'll understand the horror once you read it. One-shot fic about how Trowa should never get drunk again after a fight with Quatre. Ever, ever again. Relena bashing R&R, if you please


Temporary Insanity 

(Rx3)

"Quatre?" Trowa called as he made his way through the throng of people around him.

His steps were slow, deliberate. The anger from the 'lovers' spat' (as Duo had called it) had driven him one champagne cup too many. Or perhaps ten cups too many, but who was counting? After his little blonde boyfriend had stormed off in the opposite direction he had, he'd lost track of the smaller pilot. Now he made his way through politics and idealist, Preventer agents and former soldiers, wondering if perhaps Quatre had found company with someone else. Was it possible?

Completely. The blonde was not only drop dead gorgeous, but one of the sweetest people around, and Trowa knew that he would have no problem finding someone else, of either sex.

"Ugh, I'm so good at keeping my mouth shut," Trowa muttered to himself, his height giving him the advantage of seeing over the heads of many of those around him. "Why couldn't I have kept it shut this once?"

Snatching up another glass from a passing waiter, he made his way through the crowd, trying to remember exactly what Quatre was wearing. He guessed it was safe to assume that the blonde pilot was attired in a tuxedo, as everyone else, but he couldn't be quite sure.

An hour and five glasses later, Trowa still hadn't found his significant other, but he doubted the fact that he'd narrowed his search down to those in close proximity to the table he'd finally sat down at was helping any. Vaguely, he remembered someone mentioning Quatre's name, but he doubted it. Especially since along in that same sentence, they had mentioned (if his hearing could be trusted) the Winner kid apparently being in the company of the same person for well over an hour. The tone of voice being used in relaying the information had suggested more than Trowa wanted to think about at the moment.

Because, really, whom did Quatre Raberba-Winner think he was? Sure, he was from a rich, powerful family. True, was an Arabian prince with lots of political connections. Even more true, he was one of the anonymous Gundam pilots who had contributed to the end of the war, as well as being the sole heir of a company, since his traditionalist (and dead) father believed in passing everything on to the son in the family. That was still no excuse. So what if Trowa was only a clown, performing at a popular circus for a few bucks a night, compared to what Qautre made. So what if Trowa had no real past that he could claim his own, much less a real name? That was still no excuse, dammit!

Trowa, in an uncharacteristic show of emotion slammed his fist down on the top of the table he where he was seated at. People nearby turned to stare at him, making him acutely aware that he was most definitely drunk. Getting up calmly, he walked as steadily as possible to the gardens outside. He went down a graveled path to a bench with a large willow tree, completely deserted with the exception of him.

After a moment, he said to himself, "I'll show him. Two can play at that game."

Determined to find someone to spend the rest of the night with, who would be bound to hang all over him, Trowa turned. He was completely aware that he was drunk, and that this probably wasn't the best course of action, but at the same time, with little to no inhibition left, he didn't care. Let Quatre make of it what he wanted. So wrapped up was he in his thoughts that he didn't notice the figure before him until they collided.

_Perfect_, was the only thought that ran through his mind as his hands instinctively reached out to grasp the smaller person by the shoulders to steady them. His blurry vision focused on long hair and a dress. Assured that the person was most likely straight, and not wanting to second guess his decision, he quickly bent and kissed the figure before him, a vague thought of worry over a possible boyfriend being pushed from his mind when the lips under his reacted and arms went about his neck.

All thought fled, and the rest of the night was a blur as one thing led to another, all beneath the shadows cast by the moon over the willow tree. How long later it was that his sense finally began to come back to him, Trowa wasn't sure, but the first thing he was aware of was the sun beating down on him, and distant voices. The next was someone's head on his bare chest, one of their hands resting on his hip. His first thought was that it was Quatre, but as small memories of the night before came back to him in patches, he seriously doubted it, and his calm was replaced by worry and fear of whether anyone had come across him and his partner in their current…predicament.

_You'll have to face it sooner or later_, Trowa conceded, finally opening his eyes. He blinked a few times as the sun, newly risen from the east, shined on his face. Since the voices he was able to hear were far away, and were not coming any closer, he assumed that he had nothing to worry about. He was sure that they wouldn't be arguing over some political policy had they come across him. As he was about to look down at the woman (for the breast pressed against his side were testimony to that), he was saved the effort as her voice floated up to him.

"I never knew you felt this way," she said to him, groggily, as it seemed that she too was just awakening. "I don't even remember your name, and yet you felt so strongly towards me to make love to me."

She was still talking, but Trowa's eyes had widened and his body had tensed upon recognizing the voice. Why? Out of all the people possible, did it turn out to be her? His face was pale, he knew, and he had a sudden urge to jump into a boiling hot pool of water and disinfectants to purge him of this experience. Thankfully, he couldn't remember the act itself, and he thanked any and all possible deities for that small blessing.

"I was so upset last night," she continued speaking. "You wouldn't believe the horrible sight I saw. But it doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is you, and how much you obviously care about me. I can finally let go of Heero. Dorothy did always accuse me of being obsessed with him."

"Relena," Trowa finally managed, her last words actually registering in his shock-numbed mind. "I was drunk pure and simple. I'm sorry that this happened, I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

The hand on his hip moved away as Relena propped herself on her elbows so she could look at him. A smile played on her lips, and would have been beautiful, if it hadn't scared the shit out of Trowa.

"Now, now, don't be silly," she said to him. "You don't have to lie anymore. I know how you really feel, and you don't have to worry about anyone else. I don't care about what you do for a living, I can support us both. You can rest. You did enough during the war. You don't even get any recognition for it! Heero takes most of the little glory for it all just because he acted rash and spontaneously. He just got lucky."

Trowa pushed himself up to a sitting position, looked around for his clothes, and proceeded to get dressed. He was keenly aware of Relena's eyes on him, and he wished that he could shoot the girl. However, the lack of guns on his person, and the fact that she was the former Queen prevented him from doing so.

"Listen," he said calmly. "I'm telling you the truth. I do not love you; I do not even like you. I admire your work towards peace, and that's about it. Last night, I was upset and drunk beyond imagining, and when you came along, I had gotten this crazy idea in my head to pretty much screw the next thing on two legs that allowed me to. That happened, unfortunately for me, to be you…"

It was one of the longest dialogues he'd ever said to or around the blonde bimbo, but it was wasted. Relena was not listening, as she herself dressed, speaking all the time to herself about the time she had wasted on Heero and the wonderful life Trowa would lead along her side. Trowa groaned, knowing that getting out of this one would be difficult, and dropped himself on the bench. After a moment, he realized exactly what had happened on said bench, and he was up in seconds, leaning on the willow tree. The one main concern on his mind was how he was going to explain all this to Quatre.

As if conjured by his thoughts, Qautre came walking down the gravel path, a stony look on his face. Thinking back, Trowa realized that the voices he'd heard earlier had been strangely familiar. It had been Heero and Duo. He groaned, leaning his head back and hitting it against the trunk of the tree. He would have thought that the two would have at least given him a chance to explain before they had gone and told Quatre. He wondered again at the argument about foreign policy and wondered briefly if perhaps they thought that Quatre would kill the blonde former Queen.

When Quatre was close enough that he would hear him, Trowa spoke, "Quatre, I can explain…" He couldn't really. At least, not with anything even remotely excusable, but it was the first thing he thought to say, and given enough time, he was sure he could come up with something acceptable. At least something worthy of a Gundam pilot, use to lying when the need arose, or at least (in Duo's case) skirting the truth.

Nevertheless, Quatre did not even give him the chance. He waved a hand in Trowa's direction absently, the other drawing a gun and pointing it at the Foreign Vice Minister, who had looked up when Trowa had mentioned the other pilot's name.

"Don't worry about it," Quatre said, the anger in his eyes clear from this distance, and Trowa wondered if he was about to be killed. "Heero and Duo already explained it to me."

All Trowa could come up for that was, "Huh?"

Lucky for him, Heero and Duo came back, Duo with a ready answer. "We told Quatre how Miss Dorlian here slipped a drug into your drink, despite you already being drunk last night, after she witnessed me and Heero kissing, and how she tricked and seduced you. Tro, we are so sorry that you had to pay for something that you had nothing to do with."

Trowa blinked at Duo a few moments, realizing how much the other boy cared for him that he was willing to go against his personal motto of never lying to save his cheating ass. He nodded once, not trusting his voice to not give anything away, and not wanting Duo's lie and sacrifice to have been in vain.

"What? I never!" Relena protested. "_He_ came onto _me_!" She insisted.

"Miss Dorlian," Quatre said, voice tight. "I already want to shoot you, and seeing how I have a gun aimed at you, it would be wise for you to shut your mouth before my finger slips on the trigger."

Calmly, Trowa walked over to the love of his life, who was willing to commit murder for him, and laid a gentle hand upon the gun. "Don't. I'd hate to see you go to jail because of her." _And me_, he added silently.

Quatre looked up at him briefly, then back at Relena. "Easy, we convince everyone that it was some radical. In the past month alone, they've tried to kill her quite a number of times. Besides, I really don't think anyone will mind." 

"How about I do it for you," Heero suggested, taking the gun from the petite boy. "This is for all the insults you hurled at Duo." With a single shot, he killed the symbol of peace, knowing that the repercussions would not be easy. "I told her I'd kill her, she didn't believe me."

"Come on," Quatre said to Trowa. "You're being dumped in gallons and gallons of disinfectant."

When the younger boy was out of earshot, Trowa said to Heero and Duo as they walked away from the bleeding and broken body of Relena Dorlian, "I owe you guys, thank you."

"Just remember," Duo said, linking his hand with Heero's, "For Christmas, I want a motorcycle, and Heero wants a new laptop."

~End~

^_^ Heh heh, this was actually quite fun. This was written in reply to a challenge posted in the Yahoo! Group I'm in. I had to get twelve cards to represent different GW charas, and pick two or three randomly to use as a pairing in a story. I pulled three different pairing out of the cards, and this is the one I came up with a story for. The others were Sally and Duo, and Dorothy and Wufei, and I could not think of a thing. Hoped you enjoyed this. I enjoyed writing it. Very fun challenge! And I got to kill Relena!

~Sao


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